


What Comes Next

by spunky_little_lesbian



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spunky_little_lesbian/pseuds/spunky_little_lesbian
Summary: After the war is finally over and peace is restored, what comes next? Adora watches the world move on and settle into the way it was always meant to be. Sometimes moving on from the past and stepping into the future means letting it hurt you.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 69





	What Comes Next

* * *

Adora was raised by the shadow of war. The idea of it molded her more than even Shadow Weaver’s ice-cold hands. As a child she did not play games. She did drills. She had weapons rather than toys. The other children were not as much friends as they were her fellow unit members who may die either at her side or under her command. Above all the others Adora excelled, learned faster, worked harder, did better. War was her life and Adora was damn good at it.

Even when Adora left the Horde and her entire life turned inside out, its presence still loomed. The side which she fought for may have changed but she was still fighting. Whether day or night the cause was always there, with only deep respites with her friends. Friends who may still die either at her side or under her command. Only this time Adora was a weapon. Only this time she was fighting against the love of her life.

The fate of the world, no, the universe, rested in She-Ra’s hands, and then it was over in the blink of an eye.

* * *

Adora sat on the roof of the castle, staring at the landscape below. It was so calm, so peaceful. People walked around Bright Moon, going about their day with the most pressing things on their minds the struggles of ordinary life. It still felt strange to her to see the landscape in the form it once was, not ravaged by war, or filled with the tents of the Resistance fighters. This was normal, the way that things ought to be yet to Adora it all felt alien. She had become used to experiencing life in snapshots, short interruptions in a life of stress and adrenaline. A night spent with Catra whispering in their bunk. A day between missions spent goofing off with Bow and Glimmer. A subdued party to celebrate a small victory against the Horde. But none of that had ever felt like real life to Adora.

She knew every tactical detail of the castle, its secret passages, and defenses. She knew the weak points, the spots hardest to defend, from the standpoint of both the attacker and defender. Every time she entered a new room Adora would mentally chart out every exit, vantage point, and shadowy corner, a preparation for some next battle that always seemed on the horizon. There was still a secret stash of maps and battle plans tucked discreetly in the room she shared with Catra. Some nights, when Adora woke in a cold sweat as her heart raced in her chest, she would sit on the floor and study them until the early hours of the morning, despite the fact that their every detail had long since been memorized.

“Hey Adora” said a voice behind her. Adora’s arms tensed instinctively, preparing for a fight, but quickly relaxed again after recognizing the all too familiar voice. She turned back, while still allowing her feet to dangle off the roof. Catra crouched behind her, her tail swishing playfully in the air, covered in patches of dust and grease.

“Hey Catra, I thought you wouldn’t be finished until tonight” said Adora, as she slid over to make room for her girlfriend next to her.

“Eh, I got a bit sick of him. I swear the more time he spends with that tech the closer Bow gets to actually making out with it one day”

“What?!”

“Adora, relax, I was joking.”

“Oh right,” Adora chuckled slightly, though her mind was on other things, “so, has he had any luck fixing the engine?”

“A bit, but its not like he’s exactly in a rush right now,” Catra said as she slid down on the roof next to Adora, their hands slipping together seamlessly. Catra had a point, Etheria was safe and things had been calming down for months. The fighting was over, and the main work left was the slow and painful process of rebuilding, a process which neither She-Ra, nor Adora’s wealth of military experience, were particularly suited for. They had spent months planet hopping through the galaxy, putting out Horde Prime’s fires, but even that had begun to calm.

Adora stoked Catra’s now shoulder length hair as they watched the people below carry about their lives. This was what she wanted, right? When her life and the fate of everything she knew and loved teetered on the edge, this is what she imagined. Peace, quiet, with Catra at her side as they had always been. Their friends happy and reunited, able to truly relax for the first time in years. So why did she keep waking in a cold sweat, ready to lay down her life at a moment’s notice. Why was she more relaxed while fighting off rouge bots than she was sitting in her room alone. Why did she itch so much that she clawed at her own skin till she bled.

An intangible rock settled in the base of Adora’s throat as she reached to once again scratch the freshly formed scabs under the collar of her jacket. Catra snatched her wrist before her nails made contact with skin. She looked at Adora’s sheepish face with a joking smirk.

“What’s with all the scratching lately, because if you’ve become allergic to me then that’s a gonna be a problem.”

Something in Adora snapped. For the first time in months the looming cloud that threatened in quiet moments descended. Sobs attacked her body, gasping, painful sobs. The smirk on Catra’s face immediately shifted to a look of concern.

“Adora, I didn’t mean it like that,” said Catra, her voice catching in her throat, “Adora, what’s wrong, was it something I- “

“I don’t get it.” Adora chocked out, “Why is this all so _hard_ for me. This is supposed to be the easy part, right? But it’s not, it’s really, really not. For everyone else it all just seems so _easy_ , so _natural_. Like this what they’ve been waiting for all this time. They’re happy and I _want_ them to be happy but I’m just – I’m just – “

Catra pulled Adora into her lap, holding her close as her body shook with each passing sob. It pained Catra to see her like this, she looked so small, and Catra had no clue what to say or do. Adora was usually so strong, so together, even in those moments when it seemed like everything was lost. She had been the one that needed help, after what had happened with Horde Prime. So, she just held on, like she should have done all those times in the past and whispered that she was there, and she loved her.

Adora’s sobs slowed as she pulled all her pieces back together. Breathing deeply, she sat up from Catra’s lap, guilt settling on her chest like a deep weight. Catra shouldn’t have seen her like that. Not now, not when Catra had finally started being herself again. Adora had to be there for her. She had to be okay for her, not this incoherent sobbing mess on the roof. She had to be strong, stronger than this. Adora looked up into Catra’s eyes and saw fear, saw pain.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine, it’s just – been a long day I guess,” Adora said, putting on a brave face.

“Adora, no, you’re not fine, what’s been going on? You’ve been acting weirder and weirder ever since we got back,” said Catra.

“I _said_ it’s fine, I just need some sleep,” Adora stood up abruptly.

“You just had a break down out of nowhere. You are clearly _not_ fine. I want to be here for you Adora, like you were here for me,” Catra said, grabbing Adora’s hand.

Adora sat back down on the roof and looked off into the sky. The sun was just beginning to set in the distance, she had been up there longer than she had realized. It reminded her of being a kid back in the Fright Zone. She remembered the first time that Catra had snuck them out to the roof at night. Shadow Weaver had been mad at Catra for some reason or another, but that time Adora hadn’t been around to help smooth out the fallout. That night, as soon as lights out had been called, Catra snuck down to Adora’s bed, grabbed her hand, and started running. Catra didn’t say a word, she didn’t need to. It was a miracle they had it up to the roof without being caught, back then they didn’t know any of the passageways or nooks and crannies they later used. They just climbed and climbed until they hit the open endless sky. The roof was quiet, and they were alone in a way normally impossible in the Horde. Adora remembered watching the sunset together, in silence, for what felt like forever.

“I don’t know what to do when we’re not fighting anyone. Everyone else seems to have some sort of role or purpose now. Glimmer is busy ruling Bright Moon. Bow always has some project or another that he’s working on. The Princesses are all rebuilding. Spinerella and Netossa are going to have a baby. It’s like everywhere I turn people have these new lives now that the war is over. They all have these plans and ambitions that they had been waiting to pursue all these years. Even you seem to be finding a role in it all. I don’t – I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel useless, like this dead weight you all have to lug around,” said Adora with a shaking voice.

“Adora, you’ve already done so much for _everyone._ We all love you and care about you too much for you to _ever_ be a dead weight. Even you were like a rock we would still care about you. You don’t need to be useful,” said Catra.

“But I’ve always – “

“You don’t need to save us anymore,” Catra said brushing a tear from Adora’s cheek. “I’ve always loved _you_ , not She-Ra, not the star cadet, not what you can do for other people.”

Adora nestled into Catra’s arms, letting herself feel small. The setting sun turned Etheria golden below them. They watched the people down below return home for the night, watched children hug their parents, watched couples embrace. As the sun sank below the horizon Adora closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the evening fill the air. Slowly, the sounds faded from laughter and music to the insects and birds of the night. Catra looked down to see that Adora had fallen asleep in her arms, under the night sky.


End file.
